Not Awkward!

Hey!

Am I the only one to do this? Do you guys avoid talks about feelings and emotions no matter what? For example, when someone tells me why she broke up with her boyfriend, instead of consoling her, I'd be like "gurlllll, its time to find you a new BOYYY TOYYY!!". I Just become a movie character... and sometimes is not even the right movie. Like, Someone might be telling me how much they love their grandmother and wish she wasn't dead and I would immediately fall into character and say something " Yesss. I can feel it... Pain.. Sadness... Anger.. Yesss.. The dark side is strong in you". Its worse when it happens to me because then people would come to me and say something like:
"Hey buddy! how are you doing? I heard about your dog". But I would just be like:

Maybe is just a phase.. anyways, TREAAATT!

London betch!

Hey! Hi.. 3 years later !

So I went to the UK! I loved it even though everyone drives on the wrong side of the road and everyone in Scotland is from Australia (so never heard anyone speak with a Scottish accent). Btw, MI6 is not a place for tourist... found that out the hard way. After walking for what it seemed forever, I finally got there just to find out a place surrounded by cameras and metal bars. What did I do? Take pictures of every single corner in that building of course! not suspicious at all! A sketchy dude with a patchy beard and a camera phone... not threatening whatsoever. Long story short.. I'm back in Canada.

TREAT!

Moar bacon please!

Hey allo!!

Sorry I've been away, but I had lots of shit to do for school, you know.. typical excuse (but is true! I promise).
You know what bothers me? When the lunch lady asks you in front of everyone if you want mayonnaise in your bacon/eggs/butter/no-lettuce english muffin! ... "LADY, how fat do you think I am?"  .. of course I said I didn't want any, but gawddd! it would have been so good with mayonnaise! This happens a lot to me. This is one of the reasons I don't like buying condoms... if I get the the normal ones, then the lady will think I'm selfish in bed, but if I buy the ones with the wobbly things, then she will think I'm kinky... At the end I buy all sorts, and it ends up looking worse... specially when right next to it there is painkillers and box of surgical gloves.

ok, so here is your treat! I think you American readers will likey!

Nipples!

Hey!

You know what's uncomfortable? when someone next to you has to write his/her password, so you immediately gotta look at the sky, pretending aliens are coming (then you just end up looking like a paranoid freak) ... it feels almost as if they were changing clothes in front of you... I wanna see! cause, lets face it, we all want to look at boobs, male or female! Also, what if they got a third nipple?! That's just like the holy grail of nakedness.. it also makes me wonder, can girls with three nipples lactate from the third one? does it taste like the other two? and most importantly, can I touch it?
I guess I get why no one would tell me they got three nipples ... cause I tend to give people nicknames, so if I ever find out you got three nipples, the chances that your name on my cellphone ends up being "Nipples" are very high.

Okay! So, now that we have talked about what I wanted to talk! You can watch some videos.

In honour of Leo

 

You got a cool mom! (link)

Getting some strange

Harroo!


Isn't it weird that people always begin friendly-talk with strangers by talking about the weather? Like, someone would approach you and say "Today is very sunny, eh!", you know, like you are some kind of moron that can't tell the weather. I find this very irritating, and sometimes just to piss them off I would say shit like " mehh, I've seen better" or " Yeah!! seagulls are white too" ... I'm a pussy too.. so, after that, I usually just run as fast and far as I can. Yeah I'm hardcore like that!
No, but seriously, I scare easy. I don't take cruises because I don't wanna end up like Tom Hanks in that movie with the voodoo-doll-looking-thing... or fucking die like Leo... I miss you Leo.

treat time!

 

Purple is a my favourite flavour!

hey you!

have you ever drank so much that everything tastes purple the next day? or woken up with ink in your butt and it reads " insert broccoli here"?  ... Drinking has to be one of my favorite pass time! fuck baseball! Drunk girls are the best though! They not only look pretty, but also lose ... and have a hard time running away from you! In my experience there is 3 kinds of drunk girls, and all of them are dumb as bread! (which is good for us)
The first kind, are the fat ones who always worry someone is gonna put something in their drink and always think you are hitting on them, when in fact you are trying to get to her hot friend through her. (I know the feeling... it happens to me all the time, I'm a fat girl trapped in a man's body)
The second kind are probably the drunkest people in the party! I'm talking about the ones that will french ya and sneeze in your mouth the next second (this has never happened to me, I SWEAR!).
Finaly, the last kind are the best! The ones with daddy issues and will look for the most disturbing looking guy in the room! that's where I come in :), yeah baby! 2 shots of vodka, lots of begging and k'ching! I'm in ... and by in, I mean my penis.

anyways, here is your treat boys and girls!

Free Ipods for wrestling moms!

AllO!

It happens to me often that when I get to a place and I see people screaming and crying, instead of doing the normal thing and ask around "what's going on?". I just simply make up something and when someone comes and asks me "what is happening". I just tell him something like: "Oh, this girl is giving free Ipods! go ask for one, I got mine!", " Police is here! Run!!" or "I think your mom is wrestling the cafeteria lady, hot stuff!". So if you ever see a dumbass approach a widow and ask for his free Ipod or a guy say "Mommie?!" during a stressful moment, you can be sure that I'm around.

Ok guys, this one was a short one but your treat of the day is double featured! and it begins with a classic you dun goofed! bye!